Overview

You have a bucket list. The Dream Boy comes along and brings your dreams to life. He organizes, mobilizes, makes it happen, viva!! 

Item number 24 on my bucket list says ‘Sky-Diving’. Sounds simple, right? That’s what I thought, until Dream Boy (DB) pulled a birthday surprise and drove me down coast. Now, things are a little new-ish with Dream Boy, and he is playing this thing so right! Like, the boy can gerrit….apewe bonga points, please.

Here is how it all begins.

My doorbell rings at an ungodly hour, startling me from my sleep. I mean, that’s just rude, who goes around ringing people’s bells at midnight? At that exact moment, my phone rings, and when I reach for the phone, it is him. DB. He says he is at the door, so could I please come and open? He hangs up before I can ask him what the heck he is doing at my door at midnight.

I wake up grumpily and stumble for the door, with only half an eye open. And this boy, all sexy black skin stands there, outside my door, with his hands in his pockets. And that smile of his that dazzles the moon. Gosh, don’t I just love this boy right this moment, standing here all smiles, as if he didn’t just wake me up? Standing there, as if it isn’t midnight? This boy, DB.  

He is unlike anything I have ever asked for in a guy. You see, I had this ‘tall, dark and handsome’ cliché going on. But this guy? He is Just a Guy, he is not ‘The Guy’ as far as looks go. But he has got one thing that gets me so right: A rugged spirit.

He showed up with his heart open and nothing to prove. He showed up without apologies and explanations. He showed up raw and uncut. And to be clear, he will not be the guy to bring you flowers, no. He stands there, outside my door with a twinkle in his eyes, and I’m still collecting my mind on what to do next.

“Are you going to let me in, or what?”

That’s how he bursts into my house, and you know what he says?

“Get ready, I’m about to steal you!”

That’s what he says, and I’m like: “Excuse me, whaaarrr?”

A wry smile is all I get.

Me, I’ve never been stolen. So, I do not exactly know what it means, but it sounds exciting, this being stolen business. So, as I pack my bag, he makes himself a cup of tea. And just like that, we are off, driving out of Nairobi, leaving the night lights behind. Just me and him and his dog, Ragamuffin, in the back seat. I wrap my shuka tighter around my neck and fade back into sleep.

When I wake up, the sun is peeking through the palm trees, and the wind whistles in my ears. Raggamuffin sniffs me up, and I don’t know what he is looking for. I mean, is he suspecting me for drug peddling or something…that dog need to behave. Anyways.

We cannot have breakfast yet, because---skydiving. I mean, you do not want to get pressed while you are up there floating through clouds, do ya? And that is how I find myself sitting in a crumped aircraft with three dudes, one of them is DB. He is strapped to this huge white guy who laughs a lot. We are passing around a sachet of tic-tacs and pretending to be all at ease. But we are wet in the neck, and some guy actually farts.

And here’s the thing also, guys will let out a fart. Like yea, let it go with the wind. They are not like us girls, who hold it in. Before we get to settle that farting business, the aircraft comes to a stop, and we have to jump out in pairs. That is the most exhilarating thing I have ever experienced.

You see, I am in these sexy short shorts and I am screaming through the clouds, calling for my ancestors. I keep thinking that if we fell off for some reason, we would find sharks down there in the Indian Ocean waiting for my sexy ass, and with a young one asking: “Ma, she looks cute, can we keep her as a pet?”

When we land on the beach, Raggamuffin is there, gratefully licking me up. I’m not sure what’s going on in his mind, but it looks like I have got the first mark of approval from DB’s family. I pat Raggamuffin on the head and he falls over, whining, and wanting me to pat his belly as well.

WRITER: STARDUST