Overview

So many times before I have heard people say that Love is a beautiful thing, and I agree. The only thing they don’t tell you about it is that it’s a full-time job and if you don’t put in the work, you are disposed of quickly, I guess here, we might say that you have been dumped. My quest for love started way before I knew how to say the word itself.

I don’t really know or remember how old I was, but our neighbors back in the ’90s had a beautiful daughter by the name Sasha. She was a sight to see. She didn’t have curves of course or maybe I didn’t notice, but she had this face I still remember, her cocoa butter skin, her long hair always tied up in a ponytail. She was all a six-year-old me could ask for. I know people were jealous of us every time we held hands while heading to church for Sunday school. Everything was perfect. I won’t lie that I saw a future with her;  I mean it was just four kids, a four-bedroom house and a red Toyota Nissan, plate number KAS 132V, nothing really big, but her departure was unexpected.

 I felt really sad and the fact that she did not say goodbye and had no consideration of the future I had planned for her in my head added to the pain. I didn’t think it was necessary to tell her about my plans, she was just supposed to know them by herself. We were together, weren’t we?

My neighbors had always wanted to move to a new estate; where they had bought a new house. That is the first time I felt like my heart was being ripped apart. Of course, with a few sweets, cakes and milk, the pain went away. I really don’t know if that was love, but I am sure it meant something. Long story short, new neighbors moved in the next weekend and I met Talia. Talk about the worst five days of my life, but thank God for Talia.

Fast forward, eight years later and am now sixteen years old and Oh My God!!! Pimples all over my face; I basically looked like a walking sandpaper. That did not mean that my quest for love was dead, however, it really stalled my efforts. No lady wanted to look at me, let alone talk to me. That was tough, however, there was Sofia and she saw potential. It was really weird because unfortunately, I did not share the same dream she had; I didn’t like her. I really had no much choice. The girl I was chasing then, blatantly looked at me in the eye and said that she would rather date Shrek than try giving me a chance. I felt like a knife had just been pushed through my heart but such is life. Sometimes when life gives you lemons, you chose if you want to make lemonade or not.

 I chose to go through with Sofia and well everything was going great that I started developing feelings for her and I would get jealous every time she was with a potential threat to what we have. I really loved her and we enjoyed each other’s company. All the pimples had disappeared and I was turning in to a very fine young man. That too didn’t last long we joined different universities and because of the distance and we only met during the holidays, we lost the connection we had. As if that’s not enough, after the second semester, Sofia came back home pregnant and that was the close of that chapter for good.

Third-year on campus, after being single for about a year, I meet Alexis. She was in her second year and I was tired of being single.  We exchange numbers and we go on our first date almost a week later. We have so much in common.

 Every time she calls my name, knees get weak and suddenly I feel the urge to kiss her and just hold her in my arms. She loves what I love. I meet her friends and all of them approve of us being together. I felt like the heavens had opened wide for me.  This time I was really seeing a future; four children, four-bedroom house in Runda and of course a Mark X 2013 model, plate number KBT 204G. Nothing really big. I adored Alexis a lot that probably if she had asked me to jump in front of a train for her, I would, but only if it wasn’t moving.

So one day we’re on our way to school and she gives me her phone because she would like to catch a nap. So I take it as she lay on my chest. She receives a message which says” Last evening was amazing, when can I kiss you again?”  I froze. Literally. My mind ran wild, my palms sweaty, and face red. I didn’t  know what to feel. I felt so betrayed, but at the same time so afraid of confronting her; so I just kept quiet about it. Honestly, after that incident, I saw all the red flags indicating that I should let go; but I really loved her. So I thought everything will be okay, so I just stayed and hoped. I was wrong. The texts became too much. She spent a lot of time on her phone chatting, but my messages went hours before being responded to. The last draw to all this drama was one day after classes, she was in another’s arms, so for the first time, I gunner the courage to approach and confront the guy.

So all this time she is with her friends around, and Alexis turns against me and says she doesn’t know me and that she has never seen me at all. Well, that was unexpected. I take out my phone just to show the very many pictures we have been taking, only to realize, my phone is not the type to take pictures. All her friends brand me a stalker and that I have been following her around. I am a liberal person and don’t really believe much in violence, so I apologize and leave. Men don’t cry they say, but on this particular day, I felt something crystal-like forming in my eyes; they looked like tears but not really.

My quest for true love is not yet over and I refuse to give up. From that time, almost five years ago up to now, I have not been able to give my heart again fully to anyone, but this Valentine’s; it’s bound to be different.

WRITER: OBATSA