Overview

How far would you go for the one you love?

Love is demanding and most of the time it will push us to lengths we have never thought of or even imagine. Most of the time, we don’t complain because we love these people and we want to make them happy and ensure that their joy becomes our priority, but what is the limit or how far do you need to go for them?

It was love. I swear it was love and nothing short of it. But everything just happened so fast it almost seemed like a movie. Danson and I met when I was still on campus. He was all I ever wanted; he was cute, buff, and a bit taller than I was and was always fresh and really smelled nice. I know I loved him before I even talked to him. In a society where it is expected of the man to notice us women and make the move, I had to be a little patient with him. I often gave hints for him to notice me but he didn’t.  I was running out of time or rather I was getting impatient I wanted him to be mine.

On the day before the long holidays, I approach him and ask if we could become friends and he says yes. We exchange numbers and we quickly hit it off. After a month of flirting and chatting we decide to go on our first date and honestly it was amazing; we had a lot of fun. I felt really hopeful and positive that I had found Mr. Right. Every day I woke up and thanked the heavens for such a wonderful gift. Danson was two years older which to me is the perfect age gap for me.

Every good thing has an end and as much it is the truth I always cursed at anyone who would reiterate those words back because to me it was pure jealousy. Sadly they were right. Problems with Danson began the moment I introduced him to my friends, specifically Triza. She was the embodiment of a woman. She had a figure to die for; her face angelic; basically she had everything a woman would wish to have. Triza started developing a liking for him but I thought it was just something that would simply go away. They would flirt but I always knew that it wouldn’t materialize because Triza was my best friend.

Danson had completed campus but getting a job had proven to be a bit difficult and I remember the little I used to get from my business of selling second-hand clothes in Ngara is what we both survived on. I denied myself the pleasure of enjoying the fruits of my labor just so that he could be comfortable. Looking back, I wish I never did. He got a job at Nation center; a salary of sh 50k, and then ghosted on me after providing him with transport for the whole month. I heard he moved out to live on his own which was admirable really. Rumor has it that, Triza visited him often. I brushed those off most of the time, but when they became a routine, I confronted them both and they denied vehemently and I remember Triza even threatening to end our friendship because there was no trust between us.

I loved her and she and I had gone through a lot together. I didn’t want to lose her. Danson did not want me to visit his home and we would argue or have a meaningless argument every time I brought the issue up or suggested I spend the weekend at his place. It really hurt that my own boyfriend doesn’t want to spend time with me. I longed for his company.

 There days when I just wanted him to hold me and tell me everything would be alright. At one point I couldn’t even have a decent meal in my small bedsitter and sometimes rent was an issue and yet those were the days when he would ignore my calls and not respond to my messages. I was going through depression and yet there was no one I could turn to. I remember every day crying myself to sleep. Contemplating suicide was my daily dose. My world was crumbling and my savior wanted nothing to do with me. I lost a lot of weight; I was a mess. In the midst of all this, I still loved him and I still had faith in us.

Danson knew that whatever he did, he would always fall back to me because I loved him, but my heart was getting more wearier every time. I had decided that I would end things and just move on with my life.

22nd August 2019, I decided to go unannounced to his house to break the whole thing off for my own peace of mind. When I get there, he does not allow me inside his house; which is okay. I deliver the news to him and he has no remorse and is so unmoved by what I was telling him so I just turned around and started walking. Before I could make my second step, a familiar voice calls from the house,” Honey who is that at the door”. To my surprise, Triza walks to the door; she is in a towel, meaning she spent the night. I feel so betrayed and tears quickly form. I look at her properly only to see a baby bump. My heart is ripping apart at the moment; I blame myself for things I don’t know. The next time I open my eyes and am in a hospital bed, the doctor says that I fainted but I’ll be okay so I am discharged and advised to stay off stress.

I didn’t know how to deal or process the whole situation. But after seeking help from psychologists who helped me deal with the whole ordeal, I was able to get on my feet again and vowed to myself never to allow myself be played and undervalued like that ever again by anyone else. I can comfortably say that I was able to pick myself up again and have learned to love myself better and also understand that my happiness comes first. I got myself a well- sustaining job, moved to a bigger house, met jack (my husband to be), so I can say that life is going well for me.

Now get this, a year after my break up with Danson, he shows up at my apartment, crying and on his knees asking for forgiveness and that the baby with Triza is not even his and that it belonged to Triza’s sugar daddy. He looks emaciated, thin and unkempt. He claims to have lost his job and with nowhere to go. I honestly feel his pain, but at the same time, there’s not much I can do, he brings with him all the pain, trauma and torture I went through with him.

Well, Jack knows my story too well and every time he remembers it, he swears to beat up the man responsible, so when he comes home from work and finds him there on his knees, he really doesn’t spare him. Sometimes, we tend to hold on to people because we think that because we love them they might change for the better; well they don’t. The moment you see the red flags, please save yourself the trouble. Anyway, you have a good day.

Jacky hangs up the phone in a very jovial mood. I am completely shocked at her story, but then again I get to realize that, she represents 80% of the people in the wrong relationships and we don’t know it. It is never easy to leave such relationships until it is too late. Remember for both parties, if you are no longer happy with your partner, just talk to them and let them know instead of mistreating them. Love is a beautiful thing and remembers. Just because a thorn from a rose has pierced through your flesh, you don’t have to hate all roses. If one relationship fails, give yourself time and at the right time after healing, get the courage and start afresh. Maybe the next one is the one that lasts a lifetime. Ciao

WRITER: OBATSA