Overview

They would discuss how their husbands want to marry a second wife and how it is a good idea because the “small wife” would help around with the chores

I actually do admire their generosity when it comes to honoring and submitting to their husbands.

I paid attention 

I was devoted 

I was everything a wife was supposed to be and did everything he asked for 

Because I was taught to serve my husband 

By my aunts,or should I say,the women of the village 

Those who were raised by the society 

Those who would make the society their business 

Those who would wake up early to make their families fermented porridge for breakfast 

Then they would head to the shamba to care for the crop which would feed their families after which they would return home at noon to prepare lunch before they head out to Mama Tom’s compound where they would share a cup of tea and gossip 

They would discuss how their husbands want to marry a second wife and how it is a good idea because the “small wife” would help around with the chores

I actually do admire their generosity when it comes to honoring and submitting to their husbands

They would then discuss about how Wacera was seen walking with Kagwe past 6 pm and how she sways her waist while walking simply because she is developing her womanhood 

They would discuss about how if Wacera’s mum is not careful,she will turn out like her cousin Noni 

,who is living in her parent’s house with three children all with different dads 

“Or maybe that family is cursed “

They would conclude as they went about with their business or should I say other people’s business which they have made their own?

These women also say that if your man beats you,it is because he loves you

They say that the husband should always come home to freshly prepared meals and he should never step into the kitchen 

Because the kitchen is a woman’s place 

They supported his infidelities with claims that I wasn’t doing enough

They also said it is good for our marriage

That it would improve our sex-life 

They also said it is because I am not able to give him a child 

That our marriage wasn’t successful because children complete a marriage 

I remember his promise at the altar 

That I complete him 

And that he will stand by me in good times and bad times 

The bad times in our case would be the nights when he mercilessly hit me over and over 

Those nights when I was helpless 

The nights when I bled out and lost a child,or two...or more 

Right there on my bedroom floor  

While he turned and snored in bed 

The nights when I was traumatized and suicidal over the thought of spending one more night next to him 

I knew that I deserved better 

But I don’t know how to be alone 

Because you 

And the women from my village 

Planted this seed in my head that I needed you 

That I cannot walk out of a marriage 

That I will have failed

Especially because I am the ‘problem’

But I walked 

Chose life 

To live

Alone

WRITER: Miss Beautifullyflawed