Overview

It was not until I met Trevor that I discovered the lessons learnt from the mismatches in my past encounters. The dawn of a new love.

I met Trevor at a friend’s birthday party. He was tall, dressed simply, with inky dark hair and the sort of smile that could have fit comfortably in an ad campaign. His humor had a touch of quirk and he easily bantered with my friends.

We went on one marathon date a week later. Trevor was the sort of guy I’d been inescapably drawn to throughout much of my teens and early 20s, intent on running from love rather than embracing the inherent vulnerability of relationships. I no longer felt interested in chasing anyone who walled off his heart to commitment in favor of opportunity, but I felt energized by my time with him. I was back, and my thirst for romance suddenly awakened from the chilly winter I’d spent writing about love in hibernation.

To be honest, I had not been lucky in my search for a compatible love before. They almost always went sour. For instance; I went out a couple of times with a sarcastic, interesting law student, but our dates felt more like therapy sessions, still swimming in the immediate aftermath of breakup emotions.

Then there was the physician. He was kind and sincere, even though we had next to nothing in common. Finally, there was the sales guy, he was thoughtful and driven, but he felt more like an old friend than a current flame.

Trevor felt different. He was the kind you wanted for a long term. It was with him that I learned a lot. Timing and intention thwarted a lot of matches early on that could have evolved but didn’t, remaining too deep in that intuitive gray area to fully feel like a maybe.

Love may or may not be blind, but wishful thinking and wanting to feel chemistry, wanting a guy to do or be what he says—is a yellow light for me. I’d slow down, remaining detached and a little skeptical, throwing up walls and carrying on anyway. Qualities like kindness, trustworthiness, dependability and honesty matter a ton to me and frequently cause me to hang on longer with men of sterling character, despite a noticeable lack of spark.

Well, we’ll see where it goes, but it’s a promising start ;one that I can trust a little more, given all my experiences.

WRITER: ALICE