Overview

“If you like squared pancakes, singing to your cat, tickle fights and you are not
afraid to let out a fart. I am the love you are looking for. I will be your escape.”

Have you ever had a warm body next to you but you can’t shake the feeling of how cold and
alone you are? Well that was me one year ago. I met my girlfriend back when we were in high
school and believed she would be my one true happy ending. Times and troubles really put our
relationship to the test. We were having silly fights over everything from clearing the kitty litter
to leaving the toilet seat up. I was sure she was done with my socks under the couch, my
dumbbells over her books and my uncontrollable farts. The silence in the house was loud and
deafening. You know what they say, sealed lips sinks relationships. Honestly speaking, I was
tired of my lady.
Like every other night, I was sitting in bed next to my distant lady, scrolling through my phone. I
saw this profile;
If you like squared pancakes, singing to your cat, tickle fights and you are not afraid to let out a
fart. I am the love you are looking for. I will be your escape.
True enough, I had been looking for an escape in dating apps and you cannot begin to imagine
how thrilled I was to find my match. After a quick glance at my fast asleep partner, I decided to
reach out to her with my personal dating ad. I am not the world’s best poet but it wasn’t half bad:
Yes I like weirdly shaped pancakes. Going meow with my cat. I don’t mind a little tickle torture
and I put art in fart.
I got a message back at the breakfast table as my girlfriend was probably texting her mother.
With nothing to say to each other, our faces were constantly glued to our phones. It was
refreshing to be engaged in conversation by someone who actually thought I was interesting. The
hardest part of it all was trying to hide a genuine smile while staring at my phone.
With zero arm twisting, she suggested that we meet up for chai so that we could cut through all
the red tape. I, willingly, dropped all my appointments to meet up with my mystery woman. I
was overwhelmed by a frisson of excitement and fear of the unknown. You always hear about
this blind dates that go horribly wrong.
I was there early and proceeded to order wonkily shaped pancakes hoping to put a smile on her
face. I am not a man that get nervous easily, but boy, was I sweating bullets! In the midst of
trying to ensure perfect alignment of cutlery, I had a chuckle and a gentle tap on my shoulder.
“So you put art in fart?”
I turned and to my surprise a familiar face. All this while I was talking to my lady, my high
school sweetheart. Guess I wasn’t tired of her after all!

WRITER: WAIGUMO

PHOTO CREDITS: @nichollekobi